Celebrity Haunted Hotel

Celebrity Haunted Hotel Live is a brand new paranormal entertainment show over five nights. Combining hilarious celebrity sleepovers, terrifying tasks, gripping ghost stories and edge-of-seat paranormal investigations, all set within a village famous for it's ghostly goings on.

I've given myself a week or so to compose myself after a Halloween of almost never ending laughter and embarrassment. Yes, it's reality ghost hunting season!

This year's delight came all the way from Elvey Farm (pictured above) in Pluckley, Kent. I had actually heard of this village in rural England from my days as paranormal investigator extraordinaire, so naturally, I tuned in.

If I were to simply give a play by play commentary on everything wrong with this show from Day 1 to Day 5, we'd be here all day and I'd have a massive volume to rival the Encyclopedia Britannica, so I'll keep it short and to the point, unlike the show.

On day one we are introduced to our "celebrities". A bit harsh I know but out of them all the only one I recognised was John Thomson of Cold Feet fame. Surprisingly the only one who actually took things seriously. We are then introduced to our "paranormal experts", please, get over yourselves. If you were experts you'd be giving lectures in Universities all over the world on how you finally got that irrefutable proof of life after death, not babysitting Z-listers in a Bed & Breakfast.

When the host of the show, Christine Lampard, sent the guests of to participate in some investigating the shenanigans began...within the first hour. When the group ventured into a nearby barn items immediately started pinging around the building, sending the group into convulsions. Our paranormal experts accompanying the celebrities obviously sensed spirits nearby, naturally. Although on further inspection, Comedian Justin Moorhouse had been throwing coins about since he walked through the door creating the "occurrences".

On another night, rugby player Keegan Hirst was shown how to use some ghost hunting equipment and showed just how seriously he was taking the show and how much respect he gave the paranormal investigating field by asking "Spirits, is the Hokey Cokey really what it's all about?". This set the scene for the rest of the debacle.

I can't tar everyone with the same brush but 99% of the so called "celebrities" seen this as an opportunity for some air time to seem more relevant than they really are. Chloe Madeley (daughter of Richard & Judy) and her boyfriend, rugby player James Haskell then had a giggle whilst being told by "psychic" Alex Gibbs to try and contact whatever she thought was in the room. So much in fact, that Chloe was removed from a seance the following night. The guests on this show didn't seem to have a clue what their agents had signed them up for either. Almost everyone upon being asked to do something paranormal refused to participate or messed about making jokes. Making the show a complete mess.

Now the main event. When making a show of this ilk you need to have the experience and knowledge of people from the paranormal scene around you to give good, up to date and credible advice. Not one member of the so called "experts" on this show has any qualification to back anything they say up. A parapsychologist would have had a field day deconstructing their experiments and disproving one hundred percent of the evidence caught on the show over the five days. Which, was very minimal anyway.

The psychic on site for this mess was nothing more than a conduit to tell the guests the stories connected to the property and push her beliefs onto them to get them to have an experience. Case in point, two of these people were in a supposedly haunted room and our resident seer asks if they sense anything. Of course, they don't, so in her next breath, "I sense a child, over there". Now I've done some experimenting on the power of suggestion myself and know too well how contaminating it can really be, so I wasn't at all surprised when our celebrity then felt something touch her leg...about the size of a child. This wasn't the only time feelings and senses were projected upon the guests. Got to get viewers somehow, right?

We were then sent across to the other half of the team of experts in field. At first I thought we might see a re-enactment of Braveheart, but sadly my wishes came to nought and we got some experiments with no controls, or results in all honesty. In a segment in which everyone was just chatting amongst themselves we learn that some of our "paranormal experts" have been investigating since January! I guess anyone can be an expert with budget constraints. I must point out that at least one of the "experts" have been at it longer, as I have known Alex Duggan for at least two years through Facebook and his own site.

It was such a shame that Al and his team were attached to this farce in their quest for fame because in my opinion, they should never work in the field again on national TV because of it. Ill conceived, poor planning and abysmal execution.

With all this in mind, there was no actual evidence caught that can't be disproved or debunked, making this an absolute failure of a program and a waste of time and resources when there are much more viable concepts out there. I'm not even one hundred percent sure that Pluckley is even haunted, to me it seems like a  tourism scam.

Utter garbage. I feel sorry for Christine. 

-TF Ryan